I have had some bad food delivered before nothing could have prepared me for the dog food Cuisine Courier sold me a few days ago.

My better half was out for dinner so I thought I would order something in. As some good things had happened on the business front I made an executive decision that I had earned a not-so-healthy-as-normal treat.

So, I went through the new Cuisine Courier book, all very nice and pretty, and saw the Met Cafe had a Reuben sandwich. I love a good Reuben.The Met Cafe is part of Dan Ryan’s which is not the best but not awful so I expected it to be at least edible.

I also ordered the pulled pork sandwich – enough for left overs to keep the puppy happy.

In the end she got almost all of it.

What a load of crap.

The Reuben was stone cold. It was three very small pieces and very thin and looked pathetic. The bread was toasted to the point of being half burned and the outside edges were like biting down on gravel. I actually thought I might lose a tooth. When I opened it up (see pictures) I noticed it was virtually empty. I think they got their head chef from British Rail or possibly American Airlines. I would have looked for the sauerkraut but I lacked the electron microscope to find it. After the test bite I pulled out the three or so strips of crappy corn beef, gave that to the dog, and threw the rest away.

The Pulled Pork sandwich was luke warm. The “Kaiser Bun” was actually a croissant which was so weak it could not take the weight of the sandwich. I should have worn rubber gloves because the next thing I knew the dog was licking half the contents off the floor which had fallen there (as well as on my hands and knees) when I lifted it up to take a bite.

To be fair the pulled pork was passable, and might have tasted nicer had it been at anything approaching a serving temperature.

I handed the whole thing lock stock and barrel to the dog and it was gone in seconds.

It looked like dog food and as it turned out the dog agreed.

Cuisine Courier’s book says:

“Our mission is to provide a world-class restaurant experience in the comforts of your own home or office.” Are you bloody kidding? How does a damp cardboard box containing bad food, cooked badly, and barely still in one piece, delivered in a plastic bag, compare with a world-class restaurant experience?

“All meals are quickly delivered using secure transportation units to ensure that your meal arrives fresh and hot within a 45 minute delivery turnaround.” Secure Transportation Units? Is that what they call a scooter these days? Fresh and hot? Hah. 45 minutes? Make that an hour. If you are lucky.

I phoned up Cuisine Courier to say this was crap. You could tell the person on the end could not give a toss. She just said sorry in a very “oh God are you still here” kind of way and wanted me off the phone. She did make the point that this was not a Dining Concepts restaurant, just a partner. I tried to explain that I ordered from her, received delivery from, and gave the money to her company but that was obviously too complicated so I just hung up.

I also tracked down the web site for the Metropolitan Cafe. Would you believe that to send them a message online, the form (no direct email address) demands your address, your phone number, and your date of birth. Who is the boss, the former head of the census bureau?

I did actually get an email the following morning from Windy City:

Thank you for your email of 4 December 2009. I want to sincerely apologize for the unpleasant incident you experienced last night regarding our food and service.  Also I want to thank you for bringing this to my attention.  Your feedback is extremely important and will help us correct the situation.

We are reviewing our kitchen procedures this morning to insure our sandwiches are being prepared properly and that this incident never happens again.  In addition, we are in discussions with our delivery service and, as suggested, we are reviewing our delivery menu.

To show our appreciation for bringing this to our attention, please accept our gift certificates which you can advise us where to send or pick up.  We know that you have many dining choices and hope you will give us another opportunity to serve you.

Once again, please accept our sincere apology for this unfortunate incident and thank you for letting us know.

Yours Sincerely,

Ms. Welna Go
Windy City International
General Manager – Marketing

I replied saying thank you very much, apology accepted.

The email bounced.

So, I paid HK$160 to feed my dog.

I really should learn this lesson. Cuisine Courier is not about quality, customers or anything like that, or at least that is the impression I always get. I believe they just want to make money selling average food from overpriced restaurants.

I already knew this before I ordered. If I am angry at anything, it is myself for using them one more time just because I did not fancy cooking for myself. And I am a good cook!

Of course, Courier Cuisine completely ignored my email complaining to them.

Avoid these people. Feel free to forward.

I can just see them standing on street corners going “copy restaurant Sir?”.